


Climb Every Mountain

by CynSyn



Series: Sozzled in Soho [3]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale's Bookshop (Good Omens), Drinking, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, M/M, Oblivious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Please Don't Copy to Other Sites
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-10 16:35:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19908826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CynSyn/pseuds/CynSyn
Summary: A Drunken conversation about a past drunken conversation.OrCrowley wonders how the metaphorical birds are doing.--------------------------“What?”“Ever wonder? I do.”“What?” Aziraphale repeated.He leans in to speak louder, “Do you ever wonder---”“I can hear you quite clearly, you idiot! What I cannot do is fathom what the devil you’re on about!”The demon grinned and took a breath to speak before being quickly cut off by the angel. “And so help me, if you say ducks…”“No! The bird!”“Ducks are wet birds.”“No! Well, yes, but… It… It’s not ducks! Well, I s’pose it could be ducks, maybe?”“I’m not talking to you anymore.”





	Climb Every Mountain

**Author's Note:**

> This conversation is based upon the Bird and the Mountain conversation in the book, though for the purposes of this series, it's set in the TV universe.

** Post Apocanot **

“Do you ever wonder how it’s doing?” Crowley asked, watching the liquid twist as he swirled his wineglass.

“What?”

“Ever wonder? I do.”

“What?” Aziraphale repeated.

He leans in to speak louder, “Do you ever wonder---”

“I can hear you quite clearly, you idiot! What I cannot do is fathom what the devil you’re on about!”

The demon grinned and took a breath to speak before being quickly cut off by the angel. “And so help me, if you say ducks…”

“No! The bird!”

“Ducks are wet birds.”

“No! Well, yes, but… It… It’s not ducks! Well, I s’pose it _could_ be ducks, maybe?”

“I’m not talking to you anymore.”

“Aziph- Azirph- Angel, it’s not ducks. Doesn’t strictly need to be ducks.”

“I’m afraid I’m going to need a bit more, then.”

“That’s going to work out, then, because there will eventually be quite a few of them before they even get a dent in that mountain.”

“The… what?” Aziraphale still wasn’t following this line of conversation.

“The… Do you ever actually listen to what I’m saying? This is important. Well, potentially. Maybe not s’much anymore. But it was at the time!”

Aziraphale, eyes closed, eyebrows raised in an expression stuck somewhere between exasperation and confusion, lifted his hands palm-up, as if hoping to glean understanding via divine will. “I think perhaps you and I differ on our definitions of importance.”

There was a pause before Crowley continued. “So _do_ you?”

“I like pears.” Aziraphale was done.

Crowley drew his head back slightly, brow furrowed.

“Yes, quite.” The angel took another sip.

“What?”

Aziraphale acted as if he hadn’t heard him.

“Right,” Crowley muttered.

After a bit of silence, Aziraphale relented. “I shouldn’t have done that. I do apologize.”

“Done what?” Crowley replied quietly, not looking away from the floor.

“You _know_.”

“S’alright,” he replied, smirking gently behind his glass as he took a drink. Smacking his lips, he continued. “So, my point.”

“Your point.”

“My point was… My point. The point is… What was my point?”

“Beyond the top of the highest mountain, most likely,” Aziraphale said under his breath.

Crowley whooped excitedly, “YES! That’s it!”

 _Here we go again._ “What is?”

“The mountain. Do you suppose ducks sharpen their beaks?”

“I don’t believe they would. Ducks have teeth.”

"Must do. Wicked things, ducks. Full of evil and teeth."

"And bread."

Crowley grinned. "And bread."

The angel groaned internally at being temporarily drawn in. “I told you, m' not having this conversation right now.”

“You’re focusing on the wrong part of the metaphor.”

“Metaphor?” Aziraphale still had no idea what point Crowley was trying to make. He might have at the beginning, but had since taken in at least another bottle over the span of the conversation. “What’s the metaphor?”

“It’s for explaining something using imagery.”

The nerve wrapped around the angel’s patience snapped. clearing some of the fog of alcohol along with it.

“My dear,” he said, coolly, “I should like to hereby cordially invite you to go _fraternize_ with yourself.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can thank Lyowyn for some of the inspiration here. And while you're at it, check out [ Princes of the Universe.](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1426648) This story arc has been so incredible. It has action, drama, romance, humor, various household products, and more!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] Climb Every Mountain](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23179087) by [ExMarks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExMarks/pseuds/ExMarks)




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